Today is my birthday. Well, technically, in my side of the world, it was yesterday. I just gained another year in life. Do I feel any different? No, I don’t think so. 😀
I am just so happy that I get to spend my special day with my little Z. I woke up to see him smiling, I got a hug and several kisses (and bites) from him as well. LOL! To me, that was the best gift that I could receive. I wouldn’t trade that for anything else. I also spent the morning playing with him before we took a morning nap (that went on until past lunch time 😀 ). And while I was not able to take a leave from work today (yes, I spent most of my day at work), I couldn’t really complain because I know that tomorrow, I will have the whole day to spend with my baby love. Tomorrow, I am on leave due to Z’s scheduled doctor’s appointment in the afternoon so that means that I get to play with him in the morning until probably before the appointment and spend the evening playing until sleeping time. Doesn’t matter how we spend the day actually, as long as I get to spend it with this little boy who’s currently sleeping beside me. (Yes, we co-sleep).
So… I didn’t really celebrate my birthday today. Well, not like I used to (definitely not how I used to a lifetime ago, it seems). I was not able to plan out what I really wanted to do due to several reasons (let me not count those reasons) but I guess it doesn’t really matter that much. Not for now, anyway. Though, I think I need to do something a little bit different for next year.
Looking back to the year that passed, I sometimes wonder how I was able to get through all those challenges. Managing my time between long hours at work (we had an on going project that time), household chores in my apartment, and long commutes going home to spend what little time is left of the week with my son while trying to make sure that I still get a much needed rest. It was not easy, truth to be told. Somehow, I kind of managed it. There was also the challenge with the budget since Z had his first birthday then a hospital confinement a week after, several medication prescribed for his on/off cough (thank God he got over that), bills, bus fares, loan payments, and all that while trying to build an emergency fund and setting up Z’s savings account. Heck, it is not easy. Budgeting, I mean. There’s also the ever challenging work environment (though I am not going to go into further details about this). More often than not, my job is stressful, but it is the kind of stress that I enjoy (except for a few occasions every now and then).
In a nutshell, I would say that the past year was a learning experience of what is yet to come. It was a trial and error kind of thing for a single, working mom like me. Balancing time and resources while making sure that I am still doing good in terms of career and personal growth is very, very challenging. And while I had struggled most of the time, knowing that my son is in the care of my family while I work and knowing that I have my friends that I could confide in when the going gets tough, was enough for me to push forward to attain certain goals.
Well, in life, there is no end to the trial-and-error series, so to speak. But as year passes by, we start to close chapters and open new ones which would open new opportunities for us to grow as well. And while I cannot predict what the next year will bring to my life, I could only hope that I have learned my lessons well from the previous year so I could apply it in the next series of challenges in this new year that I face.
As they used to say – you grow older, you become wiser. I don’t know if I have become wiser in the last few years. All I can say is that there are still a lot of things that I need to learn and a lot of things that I need to improve on. I am still on the road to self-discovery, to be honest. I am still learning who I really am (I think this is the time that you really, really ask yourself, in the most serious manner, “who am I?” 😛 ).
Okay, I am blabbering again. Let me try to summarize what I really wanted to say (my brain’s kinda muddled now – I am currently torn between being sleepy and wanting to eat cake):
Thank you to the previous year for letting me experience the challenges I faced. With all that, I was able to get to know myself a little bit more. And while I cannot really say that I like what I learned, I cannot also say that I didn’t like what I learned. All I know is I am being prepared for something more wonderful in the next year ahead. Whatever that will be, I have no idea. To the new year that I face, I am ready and excited to go though the time (not only passing the time) to experience a whole lot more that life has to offer.
So, cheers to the previous year. Hello, my 32nd year of life. May you bring love, peace, happiness, prosperity and good health so I can enjoy whatever you have for me.
PS: I forgot to buy lotto tickets…. darn… Maybe I can still do so tomorrow… Who knows, right? LOL!