Being a single working mom is already hard on its own. Being a single working mom away from your child/ren is doubly hard. Some people would think that we have it easy since someone else takes care of our child, that we can live the life the way we used to. But that is not the case. Well, not for me anyway.
I have a very supportive family who takes care of my son while I work. The thing is, they live more than a 100 miles away from me. That is about 6 hours’ commute by regular bus, 4-5 hours’ commute by deluxe bus, or about 3-4 hours’ drive if you have a car. Commuting daily is not an option. Commuting weekly is a more reasonable option.
Some people might say we are lucky because someone is willing to take care of our kids. We don’t have a baby/toddler routine to perform every morning before we go to work, we don’t have any baby/toddler duties when we come home from work, etc. All we have to think about is getting ready for work and coming home to sleep. We are indeed lucky, aren’t we?
The thing is, I don’t see it that way. Let me count the ways why I don’t feel lucky by being a far away momma:
- I don’t get to open my eyes every morning with two pudgy hands holding my face, a pair of brown eyes staring back at me, and a smiling face ready to give me a sloppy morning kiss.
- I don’t get to have an excuse to be late for work because my son is not yet done giggling after a tickle game and listening to him giggle and laugh is music to my ears.
- I don’t get to have goodbye kisses before I leave for work and I don’t get to have more kisses when I get home from work.
- Not being able to call home to talk to my son every single day at work makes me feel guilty and I cannot make it up to him when I get home from work. I can only make it up to him on the weekends.
- I come home to an empty and quiet apartment, void of my son’s laughter.
- My house may be clean but I would rather see my son with all his toys scattered around the living room.
- I miss my son every single day that I am away from him and I could stare at his photos for so long I sometimes forget I still have work to do.
- I don’t get to have the chance of reading my son a bedtime story before putting him to sleep. I can only do so on the weekends.
Probably, the only thing that I feel lucky about is the fact that I can go home during the weekends (with the exception of having weekend work or when I get sick and need to rest). But that is comparing it from moms who have to work overseas.
Being a far away momma is lonely. That’s why I always look forward to the days that I get to spend time with my son. Even if a weekend is too short, I try to make every single minute count. This kind of life is hard but sometimes it has to be done. I need to think of my son’s future as well.
Any single moms or far away mommas out there? I would love to hear your stories…