Warning: this is a rant post because I just want to rant. It is quite depressing to say the least. I just needed to get these things out of my system before I start exploding. I’ll try to keep it as tame as possible, though. Consider yourself warned.
It’s payday Friday for most of us corporate slaves and some have already got their bonuses. All I can say when I when I saw my payslip is: “#$(%&^@#*!@+!@$# tax!!!!”. Yeah, I hate this time of the year when I get to open my payslip and see my year-to-date tax payment and I see so many numbers I can pay the declared salary of the president! (Yeah, pun intended.). Every year, I always have the same rant about my taxes. Why? Because I am trying to work my ass off and yet I don’t get to enjoy the benefits that I should be enjoying as a citizen of this country. I am starting to live in constant paranoia because of the crimes happening nowadays. I tend to always look behind me when I walk the streets of the big metro even in broad daylight, and I cannot trust the authorities anymore because nothing happens when you report an incident. My taxes are supposed to go to the so-called improvement of this country and yet I don’t see it happening. Do I still dare hope that there’s going to be an improvement?
I pass by Emerald Avenue along Ortigas every morning on my way to work. And it was just this Monday that I realized what the construction was all about. They are taking out the pretty center islands with trees and cementing it to put metal poles in the middle as a divider between the two opposite lanes. I mean, what the #@$%^#? The islands there are pretty. It makes it safer for motorists because if in case they hit the island, then that’s it. There is no tendency for them to totally destroy part of the island to exist to the opposite lane and cause further damage (well, unless what hits the island is either a monster truck going 100 kph on a 40kph (I think) road). Replacing the islands with metal posts at intervals can cause further accidents and a lot of inconveniences (if it happens) because there is no longer a big buffer for the impact. I guess you get what I am trying to get at here. At the end of the day, I ask myself: is that where my taxes go? Projects that doesn’t make any sense at all? How much of the project have been pocketed by the so-called “influential” people?
Hey, just stating my opinions here. But just the thought of it makes me all the more depressed at knowing that I am paying taxes only line the pockets of those people that are supposed to SERVE the people of this country. Will there come a time that I will be happy to see how much taxes I paid because I know it has been put to good news? It remains to be seen.
Glorietta is on midnight sale tonight. I was planning to go but I got stuck at work and couldn’t leave right away. Plus, the traffic was really bad I couldn’t even get a cab going home. I’ve been checking Facebook the whole day and I keep seeing a lot of sale events happening this weekend. Megamall has their usual Bags and Shoes mega sale happening this weekend, Glorietta is on sale this weekend, warehouse sale happening all over. I should be happy about it, truth to be told. I love sale. Who doesn’t? Even if it’s just 10-30% off, it’s still a discount. It may not matter much if you get only 1 item but it makes a difference if you have a few that you’ve been wanting to buy and it went on sale.
I am itching to start hitting all the sale events I can go to and buy anything I fancy but I have to get a hold of myself because for this year, I am on a very tight budget. I still have a lot of bills to pay and things to save up for and my bonus has already been allotted for most of those things. *Sob* What’s left of it is for my little Z’s needs. And Little Z’s needs come first in my list. So I guess I have to try and avoid the malls now. *Sob*
I haven’t been on a shopping spree for a long time. The last time I remember buying a lot of stuff was last May when Megamall went on sale and I spent way above my budget to buy Little Z’s stocks and a few things. This time of the year, I usually shop for gifts but I am still working on a budget plan for my list. I already have the list – just working on the budget and getting an idea what to give. I already have started with a couple of items. I still have a few weeks to complete my gift list.
Speaking of gift list, only two days more and it is already December. Time flew by so fast. I am still thinking if I will be putting up my Christmas tree in my apartment this year or leave it. I don’t know if my son will be coming down to the big metro so I am not sure if it makes sense to put it up. I don’t spend my holidays here in the big metro. I always go home to the mountain city and spend Christmas with family and friends. So I’ve never really given it much thought about decorating my apartment for the past few years. I never put up a tree anyway before except for last year because I wanted to put up Christmas lights for my son to gaze at.
Well, I have this weekend to decide. If I don’t get lazy and start cleaning up, then I might put it up to put some holiday cheer in my lonesome shoebox apartment.
This is the third week that I don’t get to see my son. For the past two weekends, I was not able to go home because of weekend work that we had to render. Tonight, I should already be at the bus terminal waiting for my ride (or probably already on the bus on my way home) however, given that I have been putting long hours at work for the past few weeks and I haven’t had a decent sleep (because I couldn’t sleep right away – I think I am becoming an insomniac) I had to call my Mom and tell her if it will be okay for her to look for my little boy this weekend because I don’t think I can’t make it home. I am grateful that she is okay with it because I am really in need of rest. As much as I would like to see my son and smother him with hugs and kisses, I have to sacrifice another week of not seeing him so I can get the much needed rest. My body hurts literally and one 1-hour session of full body massage is not enough to ease up the pained muscles. But the fact remains that I miss my little Z soooo much.
I know, I know. I have been abusing my body lately with my late nights and early days and long working hours but it can’t be helped. I have my own reasons of doing so (trust me, I find them valid and probably some can even relate) but I think I am going too far this time and I need to take a step back and breathe. And it made me think – if I go on like this, I will literally kill myself. If I don’t take care of myself, how can I take care of my son? The workaholic me will insist that a few days’ rest is enough and I can go on with how I do things but the Mommy me will tell me that I need to slow down because I now have to think about my son. My son is already 15 months and I still having a hard time adjusting to being a single career mommy.
So, today is Friday. Well, already Saturday according to my system clock. I got off work early (even our guards were surprised), walked home since it was really hard to get a cab, bought a couple of cans of beer and I am now sitting on my couch with the TV on while I type this post.
I am about to finish off my second can. Then I think I can sleep. I’ll just do the cleaning and the laundry tomorrow. Or maybe Sunday.