Blabber Chapter: Midnight Thoughts

As I write this, I am already on my way to Baguio. In fact, I am already along NLEX. And this is the first post that I’ve written using my smartphone so pardon any typo errors. I should be getting some rest because I have a long day ahead of me once I get home. I have appointments scheduled for little Z’s baby dedication.

Barely a month to go and I have yet to send the invites, make the save the date video, and come up with little Z’s AVP. Though I am not even sure if there’s a projector available by that time. I haven’t really worked on the event yet. I guess I really am better at cramming. But first things first. I have to finalize the location so I can make the invite. I also have to make sure that the venue is available on the date that I am planning on.

Anyway, I know I’ve mentioned this previously, I’ll come up with a separate blog post about the planning part. For now, this will just be another random thoughts post.

I was watching the videos of little Z that I’ve uploaded in youtube and the ones that I have still saved in my phone and I am really amazed at how my son has grown. He used to be a tiny little thing in my tummy with arms and legs moving around and looking at him now, it makes me wonder how he came to be so big.

It was a surprise that Z weighed 7.01 lbs when he  was born. Only two weeks before that, he only weighed about 5.60 lbs. So I was actually expecting a small baby since even my tummy was small. Imagine my surprise when I first laid eyes on him at the recovery room (I passed out in the delivery room a few seconds after they got him out of me).

From the time I gave birth to this day, I can already say that Z and I have been through so much. Too many struggles, too many hardships (both physical and emotional), to the point that I was already berating myself for allowing my son to, well, go through hell. But I guess the past few months made me see what I am really made of. I thought I was tough and strong. But with what we’ve been through, I realized that I can be a whole lot stronger and tougher.

We always say that we need to teach our kids values and what-nots but what we really don’t realize is that our kids teach us more valuable lessons as well.

My son has turned 6 months and in two weeks he’ll be 7 months old. There are times when I wonder where the time has gone. It was just like yesterday when I used to carry him with one arm in a football hold. Now, he’s too big and too heavy for that kind of hold.

In about 6 hours (or less if I’m lucky), I will be able to see my son again. I will be able to hug him and kiss him and tell him in person how much I love him. I guess only a mother would know how it feels like to miss your kids even if you’ve only been away for a few days. It feels so empty if my little Z is not with me. I guess I will eventually find a way for my son to stay with me.

This is going to be a long trip. I guess I’ll get some shut eye first.

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