Fatherless on Fathers’ Day

Today is fathers’ day.Β Before anything else, let me greet all fathers out there a Happy Fathers’ Day. I know your children are honored to have you as their father and wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. May you continue to be the best father that you ought to be to your children.

Like I said, today is fathers’ day. It used to be a fun occasion for me, except for two years now, it has become a bittersweet day for two reasons. 1) My Dad already passed away and 2) my son doesn’t have one. So, today, my son and I will both be fatherless.

I miss my Dad so much, you know. His jokes sometimes can be corny but hey, my old man can make us all laugh. I would love to have one full day spent with him talking and listening to his advice. I would really want to hear his thoughts about some of the things that I would need his advice on. Probably I just want his reassurance that I am still doing the right thing.

Sometimes I think back and regret all those missed opportunities to have a real talk with him when he was still alive. I should have spent a lot more time with him than trying to prioritize mundane things that would not be able to contribute anything in my life. But then I guess I have to move on from the guilt and regret and just remember all those things that he taught me.

I know a few single moms out there as well who has this same dilemma. Their kids are asked to write a letter/make a card for their fathers this fathers’ day. But those kids are clueless on what to do because they don’t have Dads to speak of. And while I have already accepted the fact that my son will grow up with only one parent, I haven’t really given fathers’ day much thought.

Will my son go through the same dilemma when he grows older? Thinking about it is quite heartbreaking. How do you explain to young children that they do not have a father? How do you explain it in such a way that they wouldn’t feel rejected by one parent? It is a very hard situation to be in and, to be honest, I am not yet ready for that time to come when my son starts asking.

Future conversation running in my head right now:

Z: Mum, do I have a Dad?
Me: No, sweetheart, you don’t have one.
Z: Why? (typical question of a preschooler, the first of all the whys)
Me: He’s not your father, he was the sperm donor

*Toinks*

That doesn’t sound like a good explanation, does it? LOL.

Going back to being serious. Fathers really do play a big part in the upbringing of kids, especially these times. I was lucky and blessed to have both parents present growing up. However, I do feel guilty for not being able to provide my son the same thing that I was able to experience. I hope that one day, my son will get to know someone whom he can look up to just as he would have had to a father.

Anyway, I was scanning my Facebook newsfeed and came across this animated video. Fathers of children with special needs would be able to relate to this. This really made me tear up.

fathers' day

Father’s Days

And with that, I leave you with a couple of quotes I shared in my Facebook wall:

fathers' day quote 11054841_10153359109699578_5606979928750241812_n

fathers' day 10429209_10152698755662819_1039118320301613381_n

 

Go hug your old man, greet him and treat him either for lunch or dinner or even just have coffee. Talk to your old man and tell him your thoughts. Listen to what he has to say. And cherish your time together. Because you don’t know when those moments will be gone.

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  1. Awww… A very touching post, I must say. I grew up without a dad. I never even met him nor saw a picture of him. Yes, it was really hard. I just feel blessed that my mom was there for me all throughout, never failed to love me unconditionally. And, thankfully, I have a Father up there in heaven who gave me so much love and security more than any dad could have ever given. So, in your situation with your son, I am pretty sure that God will give you His grace to answer all his future questions, and that He would be a Father to your son. Kudos to all the single moms out there. ☺️

  2. I hope that when the time comes, you’ll have an idea on how to handle the why-kid-questions… πŸ™‚ Or maybe that before the time comes, you little angel will already have a father figure to look up to that he won’t need to ask you those types of questions. πŸ™‚

    1. I am hoping for the latter though i think there will still be why questions by then but i am hoping that it wouldn’t be as hard to deal with when the time comes πŸ™‚

  3. You know what? I’m very sure that you’ll be surprised at how smart your child is once you tell him the truth about his dad. Importante is honesty and that you show that you shower your kid with love. Hugs!

  4. Your son has a father – you! Happy father’s day to you and congratulations on raising your son well alone. I’m sure it was tough being both a father and a mother to him but I’m sure when he gets older, he will appreciate it more and more. It must be really sad when your father died too, I can’t even imagine how it would be when my own father dies.

  5. I can;t help but be amazed and feel proud to all the single moms out there. I’m sure when the time comes and you have to explain to your child the situation, he will understand πŸ™‚

  6. Awww… Well, I was fatherless too since the age of 9. I am still lucky I can remember some moments with him but my youngest brother doesn’t even remember his face anymore. He was 6 back then.. It’s alright, I know you will be a good mother/father to your child and sooner than you think, he would understand why. =)

  7. your post tugged at my heart. I am sure that our purposeful God has very special reason for this life season. Thanking you in continuing to be the best mom and dad you can be to your son. Honoring superb moms like you.

  8. I can’t help but admire your strength right now, because you’re doing something that I cannot imagine being able to do. I think there’s a raw strength in being both mom and dad to a child. I do hope that you find someone who can one day be the father-figure of your son, but even without one I’m sure you’re already doing a pretty good job. I can feel so much love from you for your son, a love that even a father-figure for him can’t replace πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks, Jackie… I do hope for the same thing as well but I guess I won’t be rushing (that much, lol) into finding that someone πŸ™‚

  9. I love this post. It’s really heart warming and I’m sure if your dad can read this (up in heaven), I know he will be touched as well. As for your son’s why questions, just tell him the truth and I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to understand. And he’ll appreciate you more than ever for being the best mom and dad for him.

  10. You are both the father and the mother of your son, so he is not actually fatherless. Know, too, that despite having lost your biological dad, you still have a Heavenly Father who always looks after you and your son. Cheers!

  11. Sadly, I don’t have a father also … He passed more than a decade ago. Cheers to you for being a single mom. I know its a tough job being a mom/dad at the same time but I know you can do it πŸ™‚

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