I am ambivalent with Father’s Day nowadays because of two main reasons: I know longer have a Dad and my son doesn’t have one. Seeing families celebrating this day at the mall earlier was really envious, you know. But I don’t want to talk about this because I might start crying. 😛
3 years ago was the first father’s day that we’ve had without Dad. My Dad died late 2012. That time, I tried to write a tribute for him and after reading it again a few days ago, I thought of sharing it here. Here goes:
A Tribute To My Dad
I actually don’t know how to write a tribute but here is an attempt at it. And what better way to do so other than by paying tribute to my Dad on Father’s Day.
I grew up thinking that I was a Daddy’s girl. For as long as I can remember, my Dad has always been the person that I look up to, the person that I try to please, the person who has my highest regard. At a very young age, I already knew that if there is a person that will be a role model for me, it would be my Dad.
My Dad grew up poor, as how he used to say. He was already working at a young age to help out with his family. And one of his longest frustrations in life was not being able to go to college. He was the third child with 8 other siblings and he was the oldest among the men. Given that he was not able to go to college, he worked hard instead and tried his best to be able to send his siblings to school so they would not end up like him.
During my younger years, I never felt that we were poor. Maybe because my Dad provided well for our family without any complaints. He was what I would call a traditional family man. He worked hard but at the same time, he and my Mom made sure that we still spend time together as a family. He always had the final say in everything. He was the kind of father that will let us do things on our own and would support us in every decision you make. But at the same time, he would also make sure that we are within the bounds of the family values that he and my Mom instilled in us.
My Dad was the kind of person who was seen as a leader. He takes leadership seriously and it was seen in how he raised his family. Responsibility is a part of his DNA. He made sure that he was raising us as God-fearing, responsible, humble and respectful beings. And he set himself as an example for us to follow.
He was the kind of person that was easy to talk to. When I was a kid, I always see him talking and laughing with people and when I asked him if he knew the person he was talking to, he would just say that he just met the person. It was easy for him to get along with people as well especially if they share the same interests: cars, music, sports (especially basketball), family life. He was also the quiet type just the same. You rarely hear him complain and he was not the type of person who would really express what he feels openly. He kept most of his emotions to himself that at times, it gets to a point that you try and second-guess if he was mad or not.
He was also a patient man but at the same time, not someone that you try his patience. It was a trait that I was never able to adapt, I guess.
I can go on and on about the great qualities of my Dad and this page will not even be enough to tell everything. To sum it all up, I guess I would say that the best thing that I admire about my Dad was his spirit. You see, I used to see him as some kind of superhero that would always be there to save the day. And for the longest time, he was just that. My very own superhero. I guess most daughters will say the same thing about their Dads. I saw my Dad as someone strong, someone invincible, someone worthy to be put up in a pedestal. Until a few years ago when illness hit him.
Given that my Dad was the traditional family man – a provider in everything for the family, something that he was not able to do for a long time since he got sick, he slowly hit the lowest of lows to the point that he became just a shell of the man that I used to look up to. It was something painful to watch and to go through and no matter what we did, he couldn’t pull himself out of that pit. It was the darkest part of our lives, I would say.
And just like superheroes, he slowly pulled himself out of the pit and became a whole lot better than he used to be. He may not be strong physically, but he came out of it with a stronger spirit, a lighter disposition, and with a more peaceful aura. He fought his illness harder than he used to, smiled more often, laughed whenever he can and he expressed himself in ways that he never did before. He didn’t keep his emotions inside like he used to. He lived like a man who had already achieved everything he aimed for and was happy with the results.
This father’s day, I would like to thank my Dad and remember him as a man of many qualities who had his own flaws (as we all do) but did well by us, his family. Yes, he was no superhero but for me, I would say that he was the kind of father that every daughter should have.
I love my Dad. Without him and his guidance, I wouldn’t have been half the person that I am today.
Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! I miss you so much!