I was at the mall earlier with little Zaine. One of the things that we do together on weekends. I know he still doesn’t have any idea what we are doing or where we are going at this stage but I just want to expose him to different sounds. After looking around and listening to his surroundings, he slept. LOL! The malls have already started with their Christmas themes. Christmas decorations are being sold as early as September, pre-holiday sales are everywhere, store clerks are now swapping their halloween costumes/masks to santa hats and red shirts (for some). Yep, Christmas is just around the corner now.
This time last year, my family was discussing about the adjustments that we have to make given that my Dad had just passed away. It was all so surreal (well, until now, there are times that I still wish my Dad was here with us). At the same time, I was preparing for my business trip.
Prior to Daddy passing away, we talked about my upcoming trip. As was the norm, I asked him what he wanted me to buy from the US as a present. He asked me to buy him an electric wheelchair from the States. He wanted to one that they have there. Surprised, I told him that I didn’t have the budget to have that one shipped because I knew it was going to cost quite a lot to have those shipped internationally (and then you have customs tax and import tax to pay once it gets here – well, that’s another story).
Then he laughed and said he will settle for a leather jacket. I told him that I will see what I can do about that. It was a noncommittal answer but in my head. Nevertheless, I was already trying to adjust my budget and my luggage space and other what-nots for his leather jacket.
You see, my Dad lived in an era when leather jackets, cowboy boots, faded and torn jeans and hard hats (my Dad used to work in a mining company, hence the hard hat) are the normal OOTD. I do remember him having a leather jacket that he used to wear when I was a kid. And he looked very handsome in it, too. I just don’t have a scanned photo of him in it else I would have posted it here. 🙂
When I got out of the house and ventured out into the world (in short: become a corporate slave), there are times when I was home and all of us are there, Dad would ask to no one in particular (although, knowing that I was the eldest, the question was directed at me) when he will have a grandchild. I would keep quiet, my brother would say that the responsibility falls to the eldest, my sister would say the same thing and my youngest brother would say he’s too young to be answering the question (I think he was still in high school that time). And I could only say, “Weh! Why me?” LOL!
I has been an on going question up until my Dad’s last days, I guess. My Dad had always wanted a grandchild but then, well, we were all too young that time (and quite irresponsible at times, too). Little Zaine’s arrival was unexpected. Yet, no matter how unexpected that was, he came a little bit too late. Or probably Dad passed away a little bit too soon. Doesn’t matter now, I guess.
If Dad’s still alive today, he would have adored Zaine. And maybe he would have had watched every move and every step I take in taking care of Zaine. Given that my son is the first grandchild (and a grandson at that), I would probably have had been scolded with every single mishap I commit. LOL! Kidding aside, my only hope is that I would be able to raise my baby as how my Dad raised us. And I hope that my son would grow up to be like his Granddad – principled, a strong leader, kind, a fighter. Well, come to think of it, my son is already getting there. 🙂
Last year was the family’s first Christmas holidays without Dad and yet, this year will be Zaine’s first Christmas holidays. We used to be six in the family. This year, we are six again.
To Dad: where ever you are, please always watch over Zaine. You would have loved him had you two met. And for sure, he would have loved you very much. I think he would have been a Granddad’s boy. 🙂