Being a Long Distance Momma

At the beginning of this year, I found myself nanny-less. Zaine’s nanny quit and never returned a day before our supposedly trip going back to Manila after a two-week holiday vacation in Baguio. What was supposed to be a good start of the year became a stressful one.

My mom took on the task of taking care of Zaine while I came back to the big metro alone for work. My whole family and friends tried to find a replacement nanny to no avail. It’s been seven months now of becoming nanny-less and, I tell you, it doesn’t get any easier.

Zaine and I have been commuting back and forth every two weeks or so. Zaine comes down to the big metro with my mom for his scheduled doctors’ appointments while I go home to the mountain city every couple of weeks to spend time with my little boy.

This set up may seem to be working so far, but it does have its challenges. The biggest challenge is with my mom who had to sacrifice her work schedule to take care of Zaine. It’s also challenging for me because there are training/workshops/seminars that I would like to attend during weekends but I couldn’t because my weekends are for the little boy. The weekends that I am in the big metro is spent cleaning the house or running errands.

It gets lonely, too. I used to come home from work to find my son sleeping soundly on the bed. He would cuddle close when I get into bed for the night. I now come home to an empty house, with my stuff scattered all over instead of Zaine’s toys. Pillows and stuffed toys took over Z’s side of the bed, too. LOL!

I had been a long distance momma before this. When Zaine was half a year old until he turned 2, he lived with my mom, too, and I commuted home every weekend. It was exhausting but I don’t regret doing it.

I now have a great appreciation of what OFW mommas sacrifice for their families. It is not easy being away from your kids, no matter the distance. There’s this constant worry, the constant fear, the constant loneliness.

But you know what? I am grateful for having a family so gracious enough to help out. I could never repay them for what they are doing for me and Zaine. And knowing that my son is with my family, there’s less worry and less fear knowing that my son is well taken-cared of. I am also very grateful for the technology that we have because it allows me to see and talk to my son on a daily basis.

I still pray for the day that Zaine and I will no longer be apart. And when that day comes, I hope that there will be no more nanny issues because I will be more than capable to take care of him and not have to think about managing both being a mommy and a career woman. I truly believe that that day will come. I just hope that it could come sooner.