Blog Challenge: What’s your biggest fear?
We all have our own fears, I would think. Even the riskiest person would have his own fear, only he chooses to overcome the fear. Being the control freak that I am, I would say that my biggest fear would be the unknown. I don’t like not knowing what will happen. I don’t like not being prepared at some point.
It’s not like I fear the unknown to the point of going paranoid. And thinking of the unknown would not really scare me to the point of freezing and not able to move. And I am also not the most prepared person. I just want to have a certain plan, regardless if it’s a vague one or a detailed one, that I can follow. I don’t like not knowing.
Well, let me correct that. I think I do get paranoid at times. Probably that’s the reason why I come up with all these side plans in case something doesn’t happen according to how I see things should go. Because I don’t like the feeling of being taken aback and asking, “what the hell happened?” and then find myself just sitting there doing nothing because I don’t know how to proceed.
An example is my current situation. When I was pregnant, I had a vague idea of what my life would be. But just the same, I didn’t exactly know what to expect. I read websites after websites about fetal development and validated this with my OB. I planned out a lot of things. Where to give birth, the clothes my son will wear, how my son will be raised and all that. But I was not prepared nor expected him to be born with bilateral congenital cataract that was caused by rubella virus. Nor did I anticipate him to be confined twice in his first month. Sure, I know that babies would need total care and need to visit the pediatrician regularly and I was prepared for that. Including expenses.
With all the tests done and diagnoses given and medications prescribed, if I probably don’t have a strong grip on my emotions (well, with the exception of every now and then when I am at the point of losing it), maybe the fear that my son won’t make it has already crippled me.
I don’t know if I was able to answer the question and explain it properly. In a nutshell, I fear the unknown in general. Right now, my biggest fear is losing my son. I guess that is every mother’s fear, losing their kids.
Photo Challenge: Money
Since I gave birth, my money was no longer my own. My bank accounts exist for my son’s perusal. So here’s a photo as proof of that: